Thanks Made Perfect

This has got to be one of my favorite pictures from my career as a teacher. My last five years were spent as a bilingual kindergarten teacher and boy, oh, boy, they were something else. They had their challenges--but they were laced with wonderful, wonderful events. Yet as wonderful as they were, all paled before one never-to-be-forgotten phenomenon.

Every year each kindergarten class held a "pow-wow" in which the children showcased the Thanksgiving/Pilgrim/American Indian songs they had learned as well as simple crafts that went along with them. It was a beautiful program, learned from my wonderful colleague Robin Sheldon, that gave a snapshot in song of the story of the first Thanksgiving.

In my last year, at the end of the very last song of the program, something totally unexpected and unforeseen occurred. Let me clarify something here. This was a secular school. I had not coached the children in any way about worshiping God--and yet as the children sang the last song about giving thanks for their blessings, every last child fell to their knees, raised their hands, closed their eyes, and started saying, "Thank You, God! Thank You!" A holy hush fell on my classroom.

As the mothers and I collected ourselves, we picked up the jaws we had all dropped in surprise. If there ever was an orchestrated God-thing from above, this had to be one. Why it happened, I do not know. All I can say is that it seemed a special gift from God to me to commemorate this, my last year of teaching in the public sector (I later did seven years in a private Christian school, two subbing and five as a third grade teacher). And in my heart of hearts, I hold on to the hope that the divine occurrence was something held in such awe by each mother and child present that it would draw them to the God of gods.

Now, a few years later, God has added to that memory, giving me my own personal Thanksgiving experience.

As I washed dishes this morning, my thoughts wandered to my mother. She was born in a house with a dirt floor. I thought about how God had blessed her so greatly with the things that pertain to this world. Let me insert here that even in her rebellious "I don't want to live for God" days, she always, always, without fail, gave her tithe--and God is faithful, you give to Him, and He will invariably bless, even if you persist in being a rough, uncut diamond. In fact, God blessed Mom to such an extent that year after year her finances improved more and more. By the time she and her husband retired, they were living in a lovely home, a far, far cry from that first dirt floor home.

And that thought brought me up short. Hadn't God blessed me as well? The simple wood frame houses I spent my growing up years in have given way to lovely, much nicer brick homes. My heart cringed as I realized how lacking in real thanks I have been to God for the outward blessings in my life. You'd think that with that beautiful kindergarten experience under by belt, my heart would be a thoroughly grateful one. Not!

Yes, I have practiced giving thanks off and on. I have begun my prayers with thanksgiving and worship as prescribed by The Lord's Prayer. I have said and done all the right things. And I have indeed felt a measure of gratitude and praise. But a hidden, snarky sin kept my praise and worship from being all encompassing. Sigh ...

Paul says to give honor to whom honor is due. I need to insert here that when I vented to my husband, vexed that there seemed to be a disparity between brothers and sisters in the Lord (Dennis, why isn't there a Psalm like 72 about unbelievers, referring to inequities between believers?????), he would always patiently admonish me to rest in the fact that it's not over till it's over. Some of us will be rewarded here on earth, some in the hereafter. It is not up to us but to God to determine who gets what when (2 Corinthians 5:10 and many other such Scriptures).

Despite the kind admonitions of my praying hubby, admonitions about not comparing ourselves to others, my thanksgiving continued to be hindered by sinful eyes--eyes with the fretful tendency to wander to comparisons with others (2 Corinthians 10:12). Why are her children more involved in church than mine? Why is their father still living? And on and on.

My lips praised. I said the right things in my prayers. But I am sorry to confess that for many years I secretly lived the reality that I have this but they have that! thoughts are nothing but recipes for a heart that does not feel gratitude in its hidden depths.

But God.

God is merciful and always, always answers prayer. Now I can say in all truth that my heart is filled with gratitude. Now, I can say that my heart harbors no hidden corners of jealousy. Now I can say there is no comparison with others or what they have. What glorious liberty in my soul!

As I continued washing dishes and communing with the Lord, He held my hand and, like He did Ezequiel of old, He gently took me to a river filled with God's mercy and goodness. And there, by God's grace, I finally, finally entered into a wonderful euphoric realm of gratitude to God for His blessings. Just like that, with a mere touch of God's Spirit, I can now say that my eyes are fixed solely on Him and none other. And the result? Gratitude with no mixture, no hidden sneaky comparisons wishing for what someone else has.

I thank God from the bottom of my heart for the undeserved gift of living this truth: whatsoever you ask believing, you shall receive (Matthew 21:22). If you ask God to give you a grateful heart, He will do it. I asked. I received. My eyes fill with tears of repentance for so many years of needless holding on to things that in the light of eternity do not matter. And now I lift my hands towards Heaven with total, unalloyed joy like my little kindergartners to say, "Thank you, God!"

May the God of peace fill your heart with His unalloyed joy this thanksgiving season.

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who hath blessed us with all spiritual blessings in heavenly places in Christ" (Ephesians 1:3).

"Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ" (Ephesians 5:20).