Not of This World

Self-help book titles run the gamut from Six Pillars of Self-Esteem to Ten-Days to Self-Esteem. Me, me, me. I, I, I. You, these books affirm, are the center of the universe! Everything revolves around you! Hmm ... Wasn't such self-absorption the very thing that brought you-know-who down from his prestigious station in Heaven and caused his downfall (Isaiah 14:12-15)? While being excessively humble smacks of denigrating the work of grace that God has done in us, it is all too easy to let the pendulum swing the other way. Where, oh where, is the correct balance to be found?

Proverbs 18:2 says "A fool hath no delight in understanding, but that his heart may discover itself." I balk at playing the part of a fool; other than searching my heart for secret faults, I try not to dwell on the "why's" of the characteristics of my psyche. Through the years I have found God to be a revealer of secrets--if He wants me to know what and why something is in my heart, great. Otherwise I won't waste my time trying to divine what is in it.

Having said that, a self esteem issue that has plagued me since my teenage years has been such a nuisance that I have found myself impelled to scrutinize it. I have found myself battling a profound feeling of low self worth stemming from the overriding sensation that I don't belong.

It sounds like not a good place to be, but is it?

In high school, at a friend's house, the few kids hanging out there took me by the elbow and told me I had to sit in the garden while they listened to a record, something that was all the rage at the time, that one of them had acquired. I objected, but my friends (good students, clean cut, but, as I found out, not professing Christians) insisted.

"Janine," they said, "there are words on that record that you will find offensive."

So I stewed in the garden, feeling left out--only later coming to realize what an honor they had conferred on me. My words and actions bespoke my Christian faith and morals to such a degree that these particular school friends respected and honored my position by protecting me from something that they realized would have offended my Christian principles. In my ignorance, I failed to realize the honor bestowed on me--all I felt was left out.

This became an ongoing pattern in my life. I "kicked against the pricks," wondering why I always felt "different," not one of the crowd. A feeling that continually chipped away at my feelings of self worth.

Understanding did not come until I heard a minister (Dennis? Spurgeon? Pastor Kelly Rumfield? Maybe all three?) share that this sense of not belonging should be our via sit, the way it should be in our lives. This is what we as followers of Christ, as His disciples, should expect in this life. It does not make us less, it makes us honored that we should be counted worthy to suffer in this respect along with our Lord.

Let's say you are invited to an office party you know will be chock-full of excesses. You remember 1 Peter 2:11, which reads, "Dearly beloved, I beseech you as strangers and pilgrims, abstain from fleshly lusts, which war against the soul." Choosing to please your Savior, you abstain from attending and feel left out.

Another time, you find your colleagues spreading vicious gossip around the water cooler. You remember that in 2 Corinthians 12:20 Paul admonishes against "slander, gossip." So you do not join in and make yourself scarce. Your colleagues' looks and body language tell you they feel judged by your actions--or, rather, non-actions, though that was not your intent, and you are made to feel like an outsider.

As you pull on the hem of your dress that has "crept up," a dearly loved family member remonstrates with you. "Quit being such a prude!" he says. But you remember 1 Timothy 2:9 where Paul instructs Timothy to teach the women to "adorn themselves in modest apparel." This particular Greek word for modest is used only here in the New Testament and means "modesty" and "a sense of shame," implying a restraint on oneself from a sense of what is due to others (as in: not causing men to lust after you by over-exposing certain body parts). So you keep on pulling at your hem--even as it causes you to be on the receiving end of deprecation dished out by your family.

The list goes on and on. As you walk on the Christian path set before you, you find your "self esteem" attacked, often being made to feel a sort of shame for insisting on sticking to your principles. You feel like you don't belong.

Ta-da! That's exactly how you should feel!!!!!

When you feel like you don't belong, it's time to rejoice! It means, dear friend, that you are doing something right! If everyone applauded all that you do, that would be a sure sign that you are off track.

Can the servant be greater than his master? "If the world hate you, ye know that it hated me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love his own, but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you" (John 15:18-19).

When we follow Jesus, there will be situations in which we will be rejected, when our self-esteem will be attacked. Do not allow those times to cause you to lose heart! It means you are doing something right! We are not of this world--we are Christian pilgrims, travelers, just passing through on our way to Heaven.

No matter how you feel, know that you are not "weird" when you feel "different." Lift up your head with joy! What it does mean is that you are being a true disciple of our Lord and Savior! We are not of this world! Being made to feel that you are "different" is a sure sign that you are on the right path!

To infinity--and to Jesus!

"I have given them thy word, and the world hath hated them, because they are not of the world, even as I am not of the world ...They are not of the world, even as I am not of the world. Sanctify them through thy truth: thy word is truth" (John 17:14-17).

"In the world ye shall have tribulation, but be of good cheer; I (Jesus) have overcome the world" (John 16:33).