My Past Made Me Do It

In the 1970s, comedian Flip Wilson popularized the phrase, "The devil made me do it." The devil made for a convenient scapegoat for our faux pas—be they innocent blunders, more serious indiscretions, or outright sins. The convenient phrase absolved one of the onus of guilt without having to point the finger at another human and make them look guilty. Never mind that the Scripture delineates our constant warfare with self (please see Dennis's recent post in our website's Bible Study Notes entitled "The Great Conflict Within").

While blaming the devil could sometimes be a little on the silly side, it was always convenient. Then came the 1980s, when blaming others took on a more sinister form. Sinister because it not only leads to blaming others and adverse circumstances, but also because it tends to keep us entrapped in a painful past in which there is no way out.

Although psychology has been around way longer than that decade, that's when blaming childhood trauma for our actions took on a life of its own. It would be simplistic, not to say blindly stupid, to deny that our past affects our emotions and mind. When we realize why we are who we are, we do experience a kind of liberation, a sigh of relief, an epiphany that has us say, "So that's why I do that!"

As one who has lived it, I absolutely get it. My eyes filled with tears as I sat in my graduate class learning how abuse affects a child's mind. A recipient of passive abuse during my formative years, for the first time ever I could see the why of my fears and other negative characteristics. It did feel good to know the why of it. But, and this is a big but, (and I do not mean to aggrandize my self, just putting out there that there is another viable, and more effect, option) I did not run to a psychologist for help in overcoming the negative traits I have fought throughout my adult life. Instead, like a little child, I ran to Jesus.

I'm not saying that I'm 100% over the trauma effects, but hey, look at people who go to psychologists. They spend decades on the couch. Changing thought processes and reactions are the work of a lifetime, no matter the venue. The thing is, from what I have experienced vicariously through friends, the dredging up of past evils with a psychiatrist never comes to an end. Revisiting over and over the hurts of our past is a sure-fire way to stay stuck in the pain of it.

While some changes in our thought processes and reactions can be instantaneous when brought to the Lord, even under His divine tutelage, achieving mental health requires time and perseverance. Romans 12:2 defines the process this way : "And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God." How is that mind of ours transformed (changed)? By the Word, by prayer, by spending time with the Creator of our psyche, He Who alone can make everything alright. The question we need to address is : which process is better?

I recently came across an advertisement for a new book for men. The subject? How to get over wounds from your childhood that are affecting your present. We have a dear friend that buys into this reasoning. The result? Depression, cognitive difficulties, not to mention severe spiritual struggles. He seems to be stuck in a quagmire of his past. Sad to say, he is not our only acquaintance who has been caught in this no-win situation.

Yes, it's liberating to know the why of something. Jesus Himself said, "And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free" (John 8:33). But just a few verses later in that same passage He says, "If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed" (v36). A focus bent on dredging up more of the past brings Proverbs 18:2 to mind: "A fool hath no delight in understanding, but that his heart may discover itself." Once we know our frailties, and the why of them, it's time to move on. And how can we overcome them? it's not a question of how, but of Whom. Jesus. Remember Peter? When he walked on the water and looked down at the boisterous waves, he began to sink. It was when he looked at Jesus that he was able to walk above the adverse conditions around him.

There's an old axiom that has fallen out of favor in recent years, but it encapsulates a challenging truth, "What would Jesus do?" So let's look at the Scriptures and see. Let's try to find one place—not two, not three, just ONE—where Jesus advised someone to "Think about your past. Identify the childhood trauma that warped your brain. Face it. Deal with it. Then and only then will you be emotionally sound."

Well, I looked. And, just as you suspected, what did I find? Nothing. Zero. Nada. Instead I found instance after instance where Jesus healed, delivered, and on more than one occasion told the healed person, "Go and sin no more." No psychiatric sessions. No continuing deliverance sessions. No patting on the back and saying, "Poor little thing, that bad person did you so wrong." Just people healed, delivered, and told to go on with their life.

With age comes wisdom. There will be times when our older self will realize that such and such experience caused such and such repercussions in our psyche. But guess what. We don't need to try to dig out more memories. If they need to be brought to light, the Holy Spirit will do so at just the right time. Like Jesus arriving "late" to his sick friend Lazarus's side. The lateness was intentional—He had a glorious plan awaiting, to raise His friend from the dead. Our God is always on His perfect, divine time table, right on time—never late.

We don't need to twist and turn in spiritual torture because a past experience affected us adversely. There IS deliverance in Jesus. When the enemy would have us wallow in the pain of the past, we might need to remind ourselves of what Paul said, "Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 9:13-14).

Our deliverance from the pain of the past is not rooted in dredging up every single solitary painful memory. Blaming our past is a sure-fire way to continue to wallow in its misery. Our deliverance is rooted in looking forward, to Jesus. And as we do, He will perfect all that needs perfecting in our lives.

"... let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith ..." (Hebrews 12:1-2).

"Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ" (Philippians 1:6).