I'll Take the High Road

The little house my grandfather built for my grandmother doesn't exist anymore. My grandmother sold it in the early 70s and whoever bought it turned it into a Watermill franchise. The house shown here is somewhat similar, though perhaps a tad fancier. It was a hard thing for my grandmother to lose her husband when her baby was just five years old, her oldest a mere eleven, but it was a tremendous blessing to have a home that was paid for, humble as it might have been.

As to the history of the phrase "the high road" -- it came into use with a ballad titled "Loch Lomond," dated somewhere around 1746. It told the story of two imprisoned Scottish soldiers, one set to be executed, the other to be set free. According to Celtic legend, the spirit of someone dying in a foreign land travels to his homeland via "the low road," the road for the soul of the dead. The living soldier, on the other hand, would take "the high road"--that is, he would go over the mountains to arrive later. The saying came into use in the United States during the 1948 presidential campaign with a slightly different meaning. Thomas Dewey clamed he was taking "the high road" against Truman's campaign tactics. Ever since then, "taking the high road" has been used to mean behaving in a moral way, even when others "take the low road," that is, they behave in a way that is not good morally.

My precious grandmother lived an exemplary life of "taking the high road."

Although grateful for her little home, Cookie Grandma (the name bestowed on her by my boys) saw the need for more space. Her boys were growing like weeds (in fact, they grew to a formidable height for their heritage--at least six feet if not more) and were in a real need of more space. About that time she learned of a little frame house for sale for a mere $400. This was in the late 40s.

Her pastor owned several rental homes from which he earned money for himself and his small family (think one child--in contrast Grandma had three plus a mother who lived with her). Perhaps because of this he was considered to have some means. This perception of him was not without some merit. At his death, it was found that he owned accounts in six different banks. The common man or woman (as opposed to the wealthy who have more varied means of caring for their fortunes) is known to use several banks when his/her personal accounts total more than $250,000, since that is the sum guaranteed by the federal government for an account in a given bank. Six banks indicates that the gentleman had $250,000 in at least five banks, hence the need for a sixth. It was this knowledge that led Cookie Grandma to approach Mr. Smith for the request for a loan with which to buy the little house. Her vision was to buy it, annex it to her existing home, and thus increase its size to one with a better advantage for her growing boys (her oldest was but a petite girl, my mom--she didn't take up much space!).

Grandma presented her need and request to Mr. Smith. He turned her down flat. With the perspective of several decades of ministry, I can now see how a minister might hesitate to enter into such a business agreement with a member of his congregation. It would have been extremely awkward to have to resort to legal help if perchance Grandma had reneged on her side of the agreement. (FYI--Grandma always paid her bills; I don't think there was any danger whatsoever of that happening.) To be clear, she wasn't asking for a handout, just a loan. Back in those days, loans for low-income widowed women via banks were not easy to come by. It made "sense" to approach a brother in the Lord who had the wherewithal to help her. But it didn't happen. Mr. Smith refused to help my Grandma.

Well. That took care of that. Grandma returned home, none the worse--until she found out that Mr. Smith had turned around and, having learned of the good deal through Grandma's request, went and bought the house for himself to add to his repertoire of money-makers. That did carry a sting.

If I had been Grandma, I remember thinking when she related this story to me, I probably would have left the church. Although I hope I have grown in maturity since then, to be honest, at that time in my life I would most likely have succumbed to my hurt feelings and would more than likely have allowed them to erect an insurmountable barrier between myself and the pastor. But not Grandma.. She graciously forgave Mr. Smith the perceived slight (even though he never asked her to), continued at the church, and kept on saving patiently until another opportunity presented itself and her expand-my-little-house dream could be brought to fruition.

Grandma took the high road.

And my precious little momma, the black sheep of the family who didn't turn her life around until I was a ripe old 55 years of age, despite her prickliness towards God, always abided by and lived the financial precepts by which she had been brought up. Not only did she always honor God with her tithe, no matter how messed up her life was, but when people took monetary advantage of her--she walked away and, like that child's movie theme song that is so popular advises, "let it go."

-One small example: when her second husband, the father of my brother, died, he left behind a small business he had been building up, a photography studio called "Cookie Photography" (his nickname was Cookie). (Hmm . . . Cookie Grandma, Daddy Cook . . . do I see a theme here? No wonder my new moniker is "Graham Cracker"! Cookie names run in my family!} Now, you know as well as I that legally, when there is no will, the possessions of a spouse are passed on to the surviving spouse. By all rights, then, the photography studio should have come to my mother. But it did not. Her brother-in-law took possession of it.

Carnal me (and of course, it didn't help that I was a mere eleven years old, with no maturity to speak of), urged my mother to take him to task--that is, to court. But she would have none of it. "I don't want to bring bitterness and division into the family, Janine," she said. "We need to let it go." (And I might add that my stepfather's passing left our little family in financial straights. This gracious position of my mother's came at great financial cost. More food for thought--that brother- in-law was at the time an unbeliever. On his deathbed, he made a profession of faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. Would this have happened if my mother had taken him to court and hurt him financially and given him cause to despise those who bear the name of Christ? Maybe . . . maybe not. We never know when our "inconsequential" actions will have far-reaching eternal consequences in others' lives.)

I fumed and fussed to myself at the injustice of it, but mom chose to take the high road. God blessed my grandmother and mother not only financially but in many other ways for their sacrifice of forgiveness and for choosing not to be bitter.

As my colleague in Port Arthur told me, "Janine, that's all that is--stuff." I believe her words were a reference to tangible things I had to let go of in my move there. Regardless, it was a reference to possessions which, in the long run, are just a bunch of stuff. Stuff is not the things on which spiritual greatness is built.

No, spiritual greatness lies in letting go of the stuff. Taking the high road rather than tussling over things.

Like my dear friend who is waiting for me in Heaven, Mable Schreiber, said, "Dead men have no rights." Having accepted Christ, we have died to ourselves and now our life is hid in Christ. We really have no "right" to battle about possessions here on earth. Now that we belong to Jesus, He is our treasure. He is our all in all. The stuff we have here on earth? it is ours, on loan from God for a season. The greatest treasures are those that await us with Him.

May God give us grace to take the high road and not hang on to stuff here on earth--or the bitterness its loss might bring. Stuff is transient. Stuff is worthless. But taking the high road? That is pure gold.

"For ye had compassion of me in my bonds, and took joyfully the spoiling of your goods, knowing in yourselves that ye have in heaven a better and an enduring substance" Hebrews 10:34.