Defined By God

Poor Dennis. He turned sad eyes to me. Father’s Day had come and gone with wonderful visits from his boys—so why the crestfallen face? The culprit: Facebook. Every single post boasted their father was the best! And here Dennis had thought all along he was the best!

Of course, he was being facetious, and yes, we did chuckle a little. It's only fitting that every family laud their father as the best, as is only well and good. After all, he, their father, is the best father for their family. But the greatest thing, though they may not realize it, is how blessed they are to have known their father at all.

My brother and I were not so fortunate—both our respective fathers died early in life. For many years my brother even avoided going to church on Father’s Day, the pain of loss was so great. He was the nice one—my reactions, a little snarkier, are best left under the blood of Jesus, forgiven and unsaid. Regardless of our reactions, the loss left us at a distinct disadvantage. What exactly is a father like? What would we have learned from him? How would our lives have been different had he lived?

As years went by, I developed a theory. Other women I saw who grew up with a father—even a very imperfect one—all seemed to show an innate confidence that I lack. There must be something spiritual about a father that endues children with strengths that are otherwise a greater struggle to achieve. I was kinda right—and very wrong. My brother and I might have started out from a point of disadvantage, but with God ... the tables were gloriously turned. Through Jesus, God has more than compensated for our loss.

For, despite beginning life with the drawback of growing up without a father, a fact that laced our growing up years with a myriad of painful struggles, both my brother and I came to the feet of Jesus. That is the greatest blessing possible in any life. And, as His brethren, we were not only privileged to come into His fold but also to become children of the living God. How good is that!?

Sure, it would have been nice to have a human father we could snuggle up to. But aside from missing some warm fuzzies, that in no way detracts from how wonderful our Heavenly Father has been to us.

• A human father can fail us—our Heavenly Father, never! Hebrews 13:5-6.

• A human father might not have time for us—our Heavenly Father will always have time! 1 Peter 3:12.

• Our concerns might seem trivial to an earthly father—but to God the smallest of our worries is worthy of His attention. Psalm 34:17.

• An earthly father might be consumed by the affairs of life and fail to be attentive to us—our Heavenly Father will never forget us. In fact, we are engraved on the palms of His hands. Isaiah 49:15-16.

• An earthly father might not have compassion on hurts he deems unmanly—our Heavenly Father is ever ready to comfort our broken heart. Psalm 34:18-19.

• When we don’t know what to do, an earthly father might berate us—our Heavenly Father will not only help guide us, but also help carry our load. Matthew 29:30-31; Isaiah 58:11.

• An earthly father might be limited in his ability to protect us—our Heavenly Father watches over us 24/7, no limits involved. Psalm 121.

• An earthly father might turn from us when our actions are less than stellar—our Heavenly Father will blow on the smoking embers of our troubled soul and make the good He has instilled in us roar to life again in a blazing fire. Matthew 12:20; Isaiah 42:3.

So what if Al and I had no earthly father. While definitely sad face worthy, while definitely one of our greatest losses, it is not, as I once feared, a loss that limits or defines us. The truth is that in Father God we gained much more than anything of which we were ever deprived.

God is good. Even if you never knew your earthly father.

“For the Lord is good; his mercy is everlasting; and his truth endureth to all generations” (Psalm 100:5).